Friday saw Christmas come early for the entire naughty list of Melbourne when Australia’s third No Sleep Til Festival, after that of Perth and Adelaide, hit the Melbourne showgrounds. Many were sleepless in anticipation of the new festival and the day proved that they really would have no sleep til the grit, grime, sweat, blood and tears were washed off, until the bruises faded and the ringing in their ears from the big guy, Fat Mike from NoFX that is, were nothing more than a memory. Dancing sugar plumbs were replaced with hardcore moshing, glasses of warm milk with a chilled beer and as for being safely tucked up in bed, patrons were more concerned with living out their happiest nightmares.
The weather showed true Melbournian hospitality, as international bands were offered the most our city can give, with the day beginning fresh and sunny, followed by patches of rain and later on in the day the wind, which picked up slightly. Many festivalgoers were also caught off guard and received added lashings of sunburn to their beautifully coloured Christmas gifts of bruises and injuries of the pit.
The event saw two stages set up, the red and the black, with many choosing an alliance to one of them for the majority of the day. Two drinking areas and numerous food vendors were also stationed in-between the stages, waiting time in lines was minimal (with the exception of entry) and toilets and drinking fountains were easily accessible and generally clean. However, there was collective anger concerning the management of drink cards, with patrons needing to purchase a $30 card in order to even buy one drink, many leaving with unused drinks left on the cards.
The timetable showed small to moderate differences between the line-ups from city to city. Melbourne’s showed the less well known bands play first at around 12 noon, like that of Australian Confession and Break Even, then transition through the countries and popularity levels including Katonia, Frenzal Romb, Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies, Dropkick Murphies, A Day to Remember, until the secession of the festival on the high notes of Megadeath and the Descendents, with the festivities finishing up around 10pm.
Confession was first up off the bill on the black stage, whose members come from nearly every state in Australia. The band was started in 2008 by Michael Crafter, the band’s vocalist, who lives a straight edge lifestyle and despite the undeniable amount of drugs present on the day, the band proves that drugs are not a necessity to put on a good show. Also, notable was Dan Brown, who also plays in Byron Bay’s 50 Lions on bass guitar.
Preparation for Gwar, saw the stage covered in black plastic and bottles of red powerade were put out next to towels for each member. But Australia could never truly be prepared for Gwar’s first visit down under. Surely some of the time and money invested into Oprah’s visit, should have been put into warning mothers and fathers to lock up their children for safe keeping at home? “Oprah’s a whore,” shouted Oderus Urungus, which was met with adequate applause and cheers. The members of Gwar walked through smoke onto the stage, semi naked with their cheeks showing through their man g-strings and were met with a great reception as they assumed their positions one by one. “Take all the elements of gross liquid that people have inside of them, you know whether its pus or blood or urine, diarrhoea or congealed seamen … and what were trying to do with Gwar is loosen up a lot of that baggage,” said Urungus in a recent interview with Faster Louder and loosen up they did. For those brave enough to venture close to the intergalactic space aliens during their performance, they had the sickly pleasure of being sprayed with blood, alien jizz, urine and faeces, branding them as Gwar’s worshipers with the stained colours that would mark them for the remainder of the day. Set songs included Let Us Slay, Damnation Under God, Sawborg Destructos song, Maggots Gor Gor and Sick of You, while Oderus poured red Gatorade onto his massive cuttlefish penis and rubbed it, while he shouted provocative comments to the woman in the audience. The bands costumes were detailed, very well made and were suited to the melodramas that they acted out initiating tremendous crowd involvement. After all sorts of sexual innuendos, they left the crowd with one important question, “doesn’t everyone want a tight koala asswhole?”
Dropkick Murphies were another highlight band that really drew a crowd. The Irish American, Celtic punk seven piece, put on an admirably energetic show, and sent out a great vibe which lay on top of the crowd like a warm and fuzzy blanket. I’m shipping out to Boston, was a hit that would dance around the heads of many long after their set had finished.
Australia’s own metalcore band, Parkway Drive played in the late afternoon sun. As they performed, blown up balls made their way through the pit and air acrobatics took place with a couple of the best stage dives that have seen at festivals to date. One particularly dedicated man continued to mosh, despite having seemingly dislocated his knee, plea’s for him to seek first aid, were met with the response, “I don’t want to miss Parkway,” and so the man stayed. Highlight songs included Samsara, Boneyards and Carrion.
If there is one band everyone must see once in their life, it has to be NoFX. At times their performance was hard to classify, was it a comedy? Was it a professional musical performance? Or was it a performance by the kids down the road in someone’s garage? It was all of the above and it was amazing. With three naked guys proudly running through the audience, and spiderman trying to climb the cords and wires up to the stage, it became apparent that they are just big kids who are a little bit pissed off with the world, playing for a group of drunken mates. Fat Mike, with his blue hair and yellow heart sunglasses, chattered away with unintelligible banter, sledging Megadeath who was simultaneously playing on the black stage. “Hey, kid in the emo pants, get down,” and, “your on so much drugs that you have to dance all the time?” he said to people in the sea of faces looking at him. He also made reference to what a beautiful sunset it was, and as the pale-faced sea turned to look, the pungent smell of reefa, wafted through the air. It was hard to tell whether we were having an honest “moment” or if the entire collective group was high, either way, it felt good and no one was fighting it. It was enjoyable foreplay for the Descendents.
Thirty two years after they began, The Descendents first Australian appearance ever was in Melbourne, though they will also be playing at Sydney and Brisbane’s No Sleep Till line up. The Descendents were the buzz word on many lips throughout the day, with the majority of the audience never having seen them live before. Set songs included When I get old, Everything sucks, Suburban Home, Silly Girl, I’m not a Loser and I’m the one, with calculated segues.
After a lengthy and loud call for an encore, the audience was told that due to sound restrictions, the Descendents could no play anymore songs that evening, which was met with boos, hisses an general unhappiness. Fat Mike ran to the microphone (the NOFX crew were sitting stage side passing around a spliff) and informed the audience that there was a $25 000 fine if they played over their time allowance. But, he would put in $12 000 for the fine. Members from various other bands each put in a few grand here, and a few grand there and eventually they had enough to cover the fine and the Descendents came back to the stage for just two more minutes, in which they played Bikage.
